November 3, 2002 13:47
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	sad

My grandfather died last night.

	October 27, 2002 22:38
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	lethargic

Sarendipity has been retired.

I've moved on to a new area in the AIM, hotmail, and LJ world....

We went and saw ghost ship, then watched the new guy, and brotherhood of the wolf....

among other things.

It was nice.

Why does jeff have to call so early in the morning!?

"Come smoke with me, and we'll go to the movies...."

::Whimpers:: "I just wanna sleep!"

"Dude, sleep when you're dead!!"

::moans::

"Come on."

::moans more:: "Ok, fine"

I can't wait until I turn 21 so I can a fucking handgun.

	I hope I never get into another relationship.
	October 25, 2002 5:20
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	Superman - Eminem

Why can't a female write a song like this? It's beautiful.

But I do know one thing though
Bitches, they come they go
Saturday through Sunday, Monday
Monday through Sunday yo
Maybe I'll love you one day
Maybe we'll someday grow
'Til then just sit your drunk ass
on that fuckin runway ho

Don't get me wrong - I love these hoes
It's no secret, everybody knows
Yeah we fucked, bitch so what?
That's about as far as your buddy goes
We'll be friends, I'll call you again
I'll chase you around every bar you attend
Never know what kind of car I'll be in
We'll see how much you'll be partyin then
You don't want that, neither do I
I don't want to flip when I see you with guys
Too much pride, between you and I
Not a jealous man but females lie
But I guess that's just what sluts do
How could it ever be just us two?
I'd never love you enough to trust you
We just met and I just fucked you

Jeff might be going with me, yay! God that makes me feel so much better, I was afraid of going alone.

	October 23, 2002 19:16
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	contemplative

I've decided.

At the beginning of 2003 I'm packing up my car and going on a road trip. Well... a country tour. Anybody want to come with? :-)

I'm sick of all the bullshit. So I'm going to save up the money for my phone and insurance for 6 months. Money for gas and food for a little while, then drive around. Visit every cool place I can think of, any person I know, and take lots and lots of pictures. Then when I run out of money I'm going to stop, get a job for a little while, and start all over again.

It will be good for me I think. Dangerous for a female to do, but fun and good nonetheless. I wish I knew someone else who would/could do it.

I need to get a dog to take with me.

	October 22, 2002 23:35
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	exanimate

I want to die.

	October 22, 2002 18:21
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	apathetic
Music:	Insensitive - Jann Arden

I'm sick of all this bullshit.

I'm sick of relationships.

I'm sick of men.

I'm sick of friends that say they are, but aren't really.

I'm sick of immature people who get everything handed to them.

I'm sick of people that think they know it all, when really they are just naive.

I'm fucking sick of sucking up, and trying to make everyone happy.

Well fuck it all. If you do something that I don't like, then goodbye. There are too many people in this world to settle for ones that are assholes and bitches. From now I'm out to make myself happy. And if that means that you get hurt, well that's your fucking problem.

I did NOT do it for attention. I did NOT do him again.

And yes, he was worth 2 years of friendship if your idea of frienship ends with the word "Whore", just because you're too fucking jealous that he called me and hung out with me and not you.

You never were really my friend. Just like your brother never loved me. I'm done with your family, cause all it gives me is shit.

I've spent my life trying to make people happy, trying to help people, listening to other peoples problems when they were too busy to listen to mine.

I've spent my entire life loving everyone, and giving everything, being so sensitive to everyone.

Well, my life goal now is to become insensitive. I'm sick of feeling. Anything.

	October 22, 2002 4:54
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	sleepy

Finally got to see my friend Al today!!! God I missed him. He and I used to be so close... he finally moved back home a few months ago, but things have been so hectic I haven't had a chance to see him. I'm so happy. We're prolly going to chill again on Wednesday. God I missed him.

He and I and Jeff went to see "The Ring" again. I love that movie.

I think I'm finally going to get some sleep tonight. Slept a little this afternoon, but then Greg came by and woke me up... fell back asleep then Al called and woke me up... fell back asleep... Jeff called and woke me up... fell back asleep... Steve's friend Vanessa called and woke me up.... Fell back asleep.... Greg called and woke me up.... Fell back asleep.... Then Jeff called and woke me up again.

That's when I finally got up and went to the movies with them. Nobody called during the movie. I was happy.

I just got home and now I'm going to sleep... again...and curse the human that wakes me up.

J/K I like my phone ringing. Makes me feel important.

I need next month to come around.... I used 120 minutes today. I only have fucking 400. Heh. People are going to have to start calling my damn house.

I'm sure Steve is mad at me now. Heh. He wanted me to take him to work this morning... I was too fucking tired. Haven't seen him at all today.

Goodnight.

Most women get upset when their period comes.

I'm happy.

One more month that I'm not pregnant.

	October 19, 2002 12:59
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	hungry

I didn't eat yesterday. I ate half a burger the day before. I'm hungry. I don't feel like eating. I never feel like eating. It's such a fucking chore.

Since midnight it has been bitch at me day.

Okay... so I sort of deserve it all.

Last night's plans fell through. Got to see The Ring with suit, and my friend Angie. The movie rocked, suit was cool, it was all good....

Totally a cool guy.

Then midnight came...

And the party idea went.

I'm definitally thinking it would have been a better idea to just go downtown and sit there and all talk and get drunk. Much more my scene I think. But no, I over did the socializing scene.

So we all went back to Steve's house... Sam and suit were having interesting conversations that I wanted to get into, but then realized that Angie was sitting right next to me quiet as hell... then all this shit started running around in my head again, compounded by the fact that I really needed to be fucked up last night just because of that....

So I said nothing. And did nothing.

Very unlike me.

Note to self: Plan something and nothing will happen. Plan nothing, and something will happen.

I would say I had a good time last night... and I would have if I didn't feel so guilty about the lack of success in the evening. Not for myself, cause I'm perfectly happy chilling and talking, but for the fact that Angie and suit both wanted to get fucked up, I dragged Sam out to join, I woke Steve up to get him out of the house, and nothing worked out at all.

Therefore I dragged 4 people out of their homes to do nothing at all. Cept for the movie part.

I can't wait till I have my own place. Then people can just come over and get fucked up.

Simple enough.

I need a hug. Too much shit is running through my mind.

I'm confused.

This isn't like me at all.

	October 18, 2002 11:34
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	nauseated

I just wanna curl up in a ball and die right now, I feel so sick.

Time to get crunk baby.

It's been a fucking interesting day/night.

Got into a new book... "My Sweet Audrina"
Angie was hitting on me all night wants to hook up
Slept 12 hours yesterday. STILL fell asleep at work
Got bitched at all night for goofing off, even though I was sitting doing my work
Drank WAY too much coffee now I'm wired, and tired. Not a good combo
Found out some interesting/personal stuff about a few of my friends
Was auto sent a virus over AIM, luckily I was in the other room when it was sent, then warned.

Ok. I'm still tired. I'm going to bed.


Oh, and just so everyone is warned. If someone sends you a link via AIM.... ask what the link is to first. There's a virus out that sends a link automatically to people on yoru buddy list. By clicking the link it takes you to the website that gives you the virus.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

nighty night all

	October 16, 2002 22:47
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	amused

Steve asked me to move in with him. I told him that his friend (also steve) and I were going to be roomates. So after him saying how he likes living alone, would never live with anyone, yada yada yada... he asks me to move in with him. I think he got jealous.

I find that hillarious beyond words. I think he finally got the hint that nothing is going to happen between us, I do not want a relationship, and if I got into one it wouldn't be with him. Besides, he knows I think his friend is cute.

	"..pass the KY, let's get ready for some serious ass fucking!"
	October 16, 2002 22:34
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	Square Dance - Eminem

I'm borred. Completely. And utterly. I need to be in the shower already, but I got spoiled with sleep today, now I want more. I think I'd forgotten how wonderful it could be. I want to go back to sleep, not to work.

My stomach hurts now. I woke up with a killer stomach ache... too much weed I think.

Ok... so my migraines have finally started coming less often. I think taking the Patrick stress away is beginning to help. I haven't taken any midrin since Friday... I think .. yeah. And I've only smoked twice... So it's starting to look a little promising. I still think they are in my head though.... wait, no pun intended. I mean that they are my imagination.

I made a startling discovery today. Do you know not ALL guys jerk off with their writing hand.

Won't you please jump off my dick, lay off and stay off

So any guys that read this, I'm curious, do yours match up??

Do-si-do, oh yo ho, hello there

I guess I really SHOULD get ready for work....

	October 16, 2002 17:23
	For the whole world to see
Mood:	high
Music:	Say Goodbye To Hollywood - Eminem

I had an interesting night last night. Went over to Steve's house last night. I needed something to sleep bad. Ended up sacking out on his couch so quickly. I got my 8 hours. But I'm fucking going back again. I'm so fucked up right now, I think I could sleep again.

Had a run in with Steve's damn snake. Heh. It's not half of scary when it's actually on you. Feels awesome going over you skin! (12 ft python)


Heh...

Talked to cynicalchick75 on the phone last night. She seems really cool, she has a lot of the same problems I have... cept she's got a physical pain, and mine is all my mental migraines (I really think they are). lol

Oh dear, this typing is entry is getting hard to write.

Bed time

BTW.... Sam.... my cell phone is back on.

And I love the new Eminem CD. I don't LIKE Eminem... wtf??

On Sunday night I made a bet with Angie at work to see who could abstaine from meat for the longest. (A whole $5, but still) I've been 2 days without, which usually really isn't saying much, since it takes me almost a week usually to eat what a normal person eats in a day. But hey, I have actually had a couple meals in the past two days. Went and ate at the Chinese buffet, and to my surprise I passed up all my favorite foods, ate some tofu stuff, and a LOT of mushrooms. Yum. I walked out satisfied, and no meat. ::pats herself on the back:: Besides I think Steve turned me vegetarian.

Still haven't gotten much sleep. Got a few hours today. Steve ended up taking a bunch of speed yesterday to stay awake at work, then spent the entire night keeping me up (minus a few times I actually managed to doze off. Then we slept some this afternoon... I'm so fucking sick from the lack of sleep I've been getting I ended up calling into work tonight. Will prolly go back over to Steve's house to smoke a few bowls to fall asleep. What's worse is today is the day I get to take the next dose up of my anti-depressants... as if it weren't hard enough for me to sleep, now the dose is doubled. Greeaaaat. Monday I'm going to have the doctor give me something to sleep....

You know what... I'm fucking going to bed now. Screw Steve ... I need sleep.

G'night all.

I really need to get crunk tonight.

I am going to make an attempt at sleep. If nobody hears from me for a while, you'll know what happened to me. Something good!!